LAKE COUNTY, Calif. – A group of Lake County residents is engaging in a new way to discuss the difficult topics of death, dying and planning for end-of-life events.

The group has organized two “death cafés” that come together each month in Lake County locations.

One café takes place the first Saturday of the month at Catfish Coffee Shop, 14624 Lakeshore Drive, Clearlake, and the other café group gathers on the third Wednesday of each month at the Riviera Common Grounds Coffee House, 9730 Soda Bay Road, Kelseyville.

Each group meets from 4 to 5:30 p.m.

The death café gatherings are open to the public, and there is no charge to join the discussion.

The informal get-togethers are facilitated by volunteer community members MJ McNulty, Laisne Hamilton, Henny Nouwen, RN, CMT, and Robert Rothemich.

Started in England, “death cafés” are spreading across the United States in an effort to normalize the discussion about death, helping people relax with the topic and make the most of their lives.

Each café is different, said Nouwen, “and talk can center on advance directive planning, funeral planning or philosophical insights.”

Gatherings are not morbid and typically draw people from all walks of life who want to talk about death to live life more fully.

Groups are not intended to be support groups; they are more about self-exploration. The cafés are about taking death out of the closet, said Nouwen. 

No one wants to talk about death over dinner, at a football game or at a party, says Lakeport resident and death café facilitator Laisne Hamilton.

However, there are times when people do want to talk about the “taboo” topic, and when that happens there may not be someone to listen, she said.

Doctors and scholars who study attitudes toward death say that for most people such conversations are healthy; talking about death can ease people’s fears and the notion that death is taboo.

“A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying,” noted David Barnard, a professor of ethics at the Oregon Health and Science University who has written extensively about the end of life.                                        

Local facilitators of each café have a depth of experience in the arena of death and dying, ranging from work with hospice agencies to serving as a “death midwife.”

For more information, call 707-279-8512 or 707-889-0751, or online, visit www.deathcafe.com .