LOWER LAKE, Calif. – Painful stories of desperation were shared recently with students at Lower Lake High School in a presentation designed to inspire hope and kindness.
“The Wave of Hope,” which consists of a series of photo exhibits accompanied by messages of hope and understanding, was brought to ninth grade students in Nina Gibson's health class on Oct. 31.
Highlighting the presentation were real-life stories of those who have overcome, or in some way been affected by, adversities severe enough that they were at the point of suicide and self-destruction.
Sharon Dawson, who created the program, said the mission is to break through the stigma and fear that can come with depression by showing people that they are not alone and to help society gain compassion through understanding they are not immune.
“Sooner or later, you go through hard times and these are the people who have made it through those hard times. There are about 30 people participating and each person has a different story,” she said, introducing a slideshow.
Dawson applies her passion as a photographer to the illustration of joy reclaimed by those who have persevered through their hardships.
The photos are accompanied by written messages aspiring to end alienation and restore hope:
– “Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of humanity.” – June
– “I no longer see myself as the freak everyone made me out to be ... I'm glad I stuck around.” – Michelle
– “I was going to throw my life away. Then came the day they told me I was going to lose it and I have fought like hell to keep it.” – Sandi
– “Don't just let it all run around in you mind, unspoken. Talk about it out loud to someone.” – Star
The three stories the students heard during the presentation were relative to issues commonly faced by teenagers.
Ana's story began in third grade with her first of several attempts at suicide.
Her desperation arose from an unstable family life – influenced by drugs and responsibilities beyond a healthy childhood – lack of acceptance among her peers, humiliation, ridicule and a deep desire to find escape.
Ana's despair was furthered fueled by physical ailments, an abusive boyfriend and the continued lack of parental stability. At one point, she turned to self-mutilation.
Each of Ana's attempts at self-destruction were stopped, either by a friend, or in one case, by a school janitor.
Her final attempt came when she was 16 years old, after Dawson, for whom she was working and had taken her in, discreetly intervened.
Ana's new direction has led to happiness and children of her own. “I am so happy. I have a great business and a great life. I am so glad someone stopped me every time I needed someone to,” Ana wrote. “Just talk to someone. Life is worth living. Just because you don't think so for a day doesn't mean the next day will be the same.”
David's story was a bit different. His was from the perspective of a boy who lost his younger brother to suicide.
David's brother suffered severe teasing at school. He killed himself two weeks before his 11th birthday. “Over time it gets less painful, but you never get over it,” David wrote.
Ducky was the lone presenter on hand to read her own story to the class.
“By the time I was in third grade, I was seemingly assigned the role of 'ugly duckling.' It started with glasses and the 'four eyes' jokes; moved onto braces and got the whole gamut of 'railroad track mouth' jokes and by the time I was in fifth grade, I had developed acne to the point of insanity,” she said.
“There was not a single place I could touch on my face that was not covered in acne. I had crazy, frizzy hair. I didn't know how to dress and I had reached the age of totally awkward.”
Ducky's ridicule continued to the point of torture, she said, eventually becoming the victim of boys and their cruel and humiliating jokes.
She said while she refused to let the boys and their friends see her pain, it consumed her and when she got home she would “fall apart.”
Ducky sought escape through suicide, though her attempts were unsuccessful.
Then, for Christmas, she said she received a bottle of acne medicine and what followed were life-changing results. “It was amazing. I could finally feel a part of my face that was skin – what skin was supposed to feel like,” she said.
Soon thereafter, Ducky said she discovered makeup and began glamorizing her friends before dances or just for fun. She said she recognized it helped them release their insecurities – something she thought she could apply to herself.
“I will never forget my first compliment. I bet most people can't remember that. You can remember specific compliments, but in the 10th grade I received the first compliment of my life,” Ducky said.
Ducky concluded her presentation by encouraging the students to share words of kindness. “A kind word here or there can change a life,” she said.
Students were provided with a list phone numbers to connect them with area resources available to assist them and their friends.
“Keep these,” Dawson said. “Whether it's you or someone you know, these numbers are important.”
For more information, visit www.thewaveofhope.org .
Email Denise Rockenstein at [email protected] .
'Wave of Hope' shares stories of strength, compassion with high school students
- Denise Rockenstein
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