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Clark: A terrible lesson for sex abuse victims PDF Print E-mail
Written by Janet Clark   
Sunday, 22 June 2008

An open letter to the St. Mary's Parish Board:


I learned of the situation regarding the priest at St. Mary's who is accused of sexually abusing a child (now grown) through an article on the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP) Web site.


There are many things I could say to you: I could tell you of my own struggles as the survivor of sexual assault by a priest, or I could refer you to the SNAP Web site, where you would find an article that could help you deal with your feelings when your priest is accused of sexual assault, or I could tell you how I felt when I read the glowing eulogy for the priest who raped me, a eulogy written by an archdiocese that knew the priest had sexually assaulted at least seven girls.


But instead I will just offer you this fact: One of every four girls and one of every six boys sitting in your church is the victim of sexual abuse. One in five children.


You have just taught those children a lesson they will never forget. They may not remember everything they hear in their stranger-danger classes, but this they will remember: When someone accuses a respected adult of sexually assaulting a child, St. Mary's Parish will stand behind the adult, not the child.


Let us say that one child in particular, maybe a 12-year-old girl, has somehow gathered the courage to tell that she is being forced to have sex with her stepfather or uncle or teacher or even a priest. She has been sitting in the class where her teacher instructs the students that if someone is touching them in a way they are not comfortable with, they need to tell someone, another grownup, someone in authority, and then they will be safe.


But that lesson is meaningless, as she now understands. The real lesson is the one you have just given her: If the person who is sexually assaulting her is a respected member of the community, NO ONE WILL BELIEVE HER. NO ONE. She understands this now: She has no one to help her, and she is alone.


For all the people sitting in your parish who are current or past victims of sexual assault, my heart goes out.

 

Janet Clark lives in Fort Dodge, Iowa. She has written a novel, “Blind Faith,” about the Roman Catholic clergy sex abuse scandal. Her Web site is www.janeteclark.com.


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macshome Registered | 06-22-2008 05:10:04
Yes there has been a lot of church cover up and a lot of us always say "no it can't be him" but after all the going on,the press and people have already found him guilty.Believe will wait till after all is done before I make a judgement call.If guilty, punish him, if not, he is always guilty and all he has done will be lost.
Raphael - Thanks Janet Author | 06-22-2008 05:49:19
for your important point: a responsible community should think of the welfare of a child first, before worrying about someone's reputation. He will have his day in court...but a responsible and honest religious organization should have as its upmost priority the safety of its most vulnerable members, who are the children, and when someone comes up with such an accusation, it shouldn't trigger venomous reactions on the part of those who support the Church.
James Registered | 06-22-2008 10:55:50
A child has not accused Fr.Oswald a adult has. Oswalds life has been changed forever even if found not to be true. I understand this deepseated animosity, words fail me with that evil done by some within that church. I'm not giving Oswald a pass on this matter only holding judgment as all others should do. If he violated that trust I placed in him I will be the first to point a finger. I'm not a Catholic nore am I member of the church and I will not lump Oswald with all that evil that has been in that church. So he has been accused and we all dump him. Not I.
Raphael - An adult Author | 06-22-2008 17:48:11
has accused Oswald of molesting him while he was a minor. It is sad that Oswald's life could be changed because of this, if he is innocent. But if he his not, his victim's life has been changed forever.
Between ignoring the trauma of a potential victim (as the Vatican has consistently done) and changing the life of an alleged perpetrator, I would rather be on the side of the law and change the life of the alleged perpetrator by bringing him or her to justice. I think the law is reasonable in this respect, in that it applies to the "nobles" as well as the common man.
smurf - you're right James... Registered | 06-22-2008 11:33:04
let them sort this out in the courts, until then Ted gets the benefit of the doubt like any other person accused of a crime where it's one person's word against his. If other victims pop up then maybe it would be different, but as it is none of us know so none of us should judge at this point.
purplegirl - Again Registered | 06-22-2008 13:33:31
There is such thing as "innocent until proven guilty" but the problem here is that the church has not allowed the guilt to be proven in so many cases that we are at the point where we have begun to assume guilt. If we saw the church and the law handle these cases differently, arresting, charging and convicting them as any common criminal, maybe, we would have a more level head about assuming innocence until guilt is proven.
James - Point Registered | 06-22-2008 15:57:28
All that has been brought up about the church or what evil has befallen on others. Has nothing to do with Fr. Oswald. But this rush to taint the man for the actions of others is just wrong. If the legal system did not do its job or the church,take it out on them not FR.Oswald and if I'm wrong it won't be the first time.
jcarney - Accusations Registered | 06-22-2008 19:17:43
One of the greatest travesties of our legal system is the ability of one person to villify and besmirch the reputation of another person without solid evidence. Trial by press belies our "innocent until proven guilty" principle.Is it true that the statute of limitations for criminal action had expired ? Was there not enough evidence available to press charges ? Now we procede to civil court prompted by unethical lawers, get rich opportunists, and back to the wall insurance companies. Often an un-holy alliance. Menwhile lives are destroyed, reputations are shredded for ever. Remember "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"
Raphael - There is Author | 06-24-2008 01:24:31
prejudice on both side of this issue...and to some degree the prejudices are validated by past and current events and trends.
It is true that all Churches, chief among them the Catholic Church, seem to attract potential sexual predators...It is also true that Church officials tend to be dishonest about these matters, particularly the Vatican.
Equally true is the fact that we live in a highly litigious society. Everyone can be the target of a law suit and get his/her name dragged in the mud.
But to say that people who sue others for sexual abuse are get rich opportunists is as unreasonable as to say that priests, nuns and ministers are all pedophiles.
My personal problem is with the Churches hierarchies...as in any corrupt institution, such as government, the higher you look, the more the extent of the corruption and moral failure. If there was decency and integrity in the leadership of these Churches, these problems would be eradicated, and children would no longer suffer these abominations at the hands of those who assume to represent God.
The physical, emotional or sexual abuse of children are the most heinous crimes, and if religious leaders had their priorities straight, they would concentrate on these rather than worry about abortion or gay marriage, which by the way are not crimes!...
James - jcarney well said. Registered | 06-22-2008 21:01:22
I have little respect for Lake County Government, such a large number with few ethics and a system lacking the legal controling authority for the reporting the malfeasance. My point, I don't think everyone in that building is corrupt so to lump them all for the actions of a few would not be just. Because we care that a good person as we see him has no way to retrieve his good name or reputation when all is said and done. We give him the doubt thats the way it should work.
jcarney Registered | 06-24-2008 18:57:01
Responding to Raphael
If oppertunists are not behind many law suits (not all obviously) Why was this matter of Fr. Ted not pursued in criminal court ? Ah but the money is in the civi court I'm the last person in the world to defend O.J. Simpson, but explain to me how a person can be found innocent in criminal court, and guilty in civil court ? Some flawed system !
In the words of the famous William Shakspear "The first thing we do is kill all the lawyers "
Raphael - The system Author | 06-25-2008 00:39:20
is flawed indeed...and Shakespeare had the right idea, that would also get rid of most politicians.
Sometimes civil courts are the only recourse ordinary people have against the powerful and well connected.
Let's face it, there is no justice in a court of law, there is only the law, and how the prosecution and the defense are allowed by the judge to present their cases.
But again my problem is with the Churches hierarchies, that have proven to be willing to hide these crimes and/or allow known pedophiles to prey on other children in new areas by moving the offenders around. There is no excuse for this. How can people support such corrupt and criminal institutions, and not demand that they clean up their act once and for all?
jcarney Registered | 06-26-2008 18:58:40
I am not a Catholic, but it would be naive to assume the Catholic church had a monopoly on child abuse. True the Vatican response was pitiful. Consider, however the inumerable priests etc. who have "labored in the vinyard" for centuries in a noble fashion. In Ireland, with which I am familiar,the media does not publisize a case until it gets to court. This is as it should be. Here we try the other victem in the press. reputations are like feathers....scattered to the wind they are almost impossible to recover.
Extreme care should be taken before we rush to judgement.
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