Our principal, Bill MacDougall, has suddenly left the country without warning. No one knows where he went, but it was last heard that he has gone to India to find himself.

During the confusion caused by Bill's sudden absence, somehow Alan Siegel has established complete control over the school. Alan has studied how dictatorships work, and has established something similar to one at Carlé. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, of course! If anything the school is better under his rule. I am not saying this just because I am fearful of his policies against negative media. I swear!

The other teachers are very supportive. This is not because all opposition has been crushed before gathering strength. In fact, no one opposes the new dictator's policies (that still exists in the school's records.) We are already in the process of building a statue in his honor.

Even though this is very stirring change, it is not the only exciting event to happen this past week. Angie's biology class has discovered a new species. Using a mix of radiation and cloning techniques they have successfully crossed a goat with a bobcat! Carlé High School is proud to have achieved this scientific landmark.

The students voted for the name of this new species, and decided on calling it an Angie-saurus. The Association of Scientific Species will be here within the month to classify it and give it a Latin name.

We would like to congratulate this week's student of the week, Stephen Colbert. Even though he isn't actually a student at Carlé or any school for that matter, we feel that he deserves it for being such a great American hero. He is also a celebrity, which means he must be better than regular people, right?

His dedication to courage and “truthiness” is really admirable. That is all I have to say for this week's chronicle. Hope you have had a great April Fool's Day!

Atlee Erickson is a junior at Carlé High School.

Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts)